Friday, April 11, 2014

It's Me or the Spider

A few years ago I had a run in with a spider, not just any spider, like the biggest spider of my life.  I was home alone and doing some chores.  I decided to go throw some laundry in.  Our washer and dryer are in the basement, but we recently remodeled it so I frequently go down there without any shoes on.  This happened to be one of those times.  So I've got my basket of laundry and I head downstairs.  I dump the laundry in, get the machine going, when I look up to see a huge spider.  It looked like a massive hobo spider, or wolf spider, I don't know it all happened so fast.  This spider was on the move, like running across the wall.  Usually I would yell for Porter and watch it so it couldn't get a way.  However, no Porter, my next plan if I ever was to find my self in this situation would be to either grab a towel or shoe and kill the devil myself.  Again, no shoes, no towel, no time. This became a defining moment in my bug killing escapades.  If I did nothing the spider would run and hide and wait until it could strike, probably biting me while I slept.  So it came down to this: the spider or me.  Suddenly things slowed to crawl as I examined my options, then as the spider was almost about to get away with out thinking I began chanting "me or the spider, me or the spider" as I raised my bare hand up and squished that spider.  GROSS!!!!!!  I screamed so loud as I felt that spider body pop beneath my skin.  I am actually shuddering while writing this.  But now I know that in a pinch I can call for the strength from my war chant: Me or the Spider!!!!

About a month ago I woke up and got ready for the day.  I walk past the mirror and had a little, "hey, good looking moment.  So what does one do in that type of situation?  Um...take a selfie of course!  I went into the bathroom and looked in the mirror and snapped a picture to send to the hubster just so he knew how cute his wifey was today.  I even did the sign for "I love you," just in case he didn't realize that sending cute selfies also means I love you.
 So, there I am snapping cute little selfies when what do I see?  A spider!!!  I was not a happy camper. Now, granted this was not like the arachnisaurus I encountered before, but still a spider in my house...not cool.
 At least this time I was in a bathroom, so I grabbed some tissue, called out my war cry and squish, that was the end of that arachnid.  Spiders fear me!
 And then I had to follow it up with a final selfie of me showing (well not quite showing) my guns that smote the fiend!  Hope you all are having a happy, healthy and spider free Friday!

No comments:

Post a Comment