Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Unwanted House Guest

Porter and I went out to eat the other night at a fantastic burger joint.  Actually we had really been missing Five Guys and Smash Burger from home, but we found Gourmet Burger on our high street.  Porter got the Blitzen Burger (looks like Santa is down one reindeer this year, RIP Blitzen), I got a chicken sandwich, then we shared rosemary fries and a nutella shake.  It was delicious!  In fact, just writing about it has me seeing fries.  Anyhow, we had this fantastic evening.  We came home, and I walked into the dining room, flipped the light on and looked up on the wall.  To my horror this guy(or gal) was hanging out up on the wall.  This picture makes it look tiny when it was the biggest spider I have ever seen in the house.  It was about 4 inches long I think.  

In a panicked voice I started yelling for Porter.  I didn't want to leave the room in case it ran away.  In my head I started chanting my war cry "Me or the Spider!"  But I was really hoping it wouldn't come to that.  I didn't know if I could seriously smash this guy with my bare hands if it came to that.  And seriously why do you think I got married?  To have a handsome spider killer on hand at all times, duh.
Porter was in the bathroom (he'll probably hate me for writing that, but it's true) and he yells down, "I'm in the bathroom."  I yell back, "Porter you need to come down here right now, like RIGHT NOW!"  So he begrudgingly come down the stares.  I tell him there is a spider on the wall and he gives me this look of "you drug me out of the bathroom for a spider...."  (He hates it when I call him for spider duty, but it is a husbandly duty, so...you know)  I motion him into the dining room and his jaw drops.  "&%$#! That's a big spider," he says.   Yep, that's why I brought you down, geez.  I told him to kill it, but he didn't want to leave a spot on the wall, so I grabbed a plastic cup.  I also wanted to identify it, just to make sure I knew what we were dealing with.



Luckily, it wasn't poisonous.  It seems to be a house spider.  Apparently, they come out in October and November to find mates.  The rest of the year they live in the walls, attic, or out in the garden.  This guy was on his way to a hot date and I totally ruined his night.  Porter took him outside.  I told Porter not to come back in until that spider was no more.  So Porter took him out and gave him the boot, quite literally.  It's safe to say that I am now quite paranoid of creepy crawlies in our house and have cleaned every nook and cranny to make sure there are no more unwanted house guests. 

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